Any of you that know me know that March is a month where I tend to get a little self absorbed. (well more so than usual) My birthday is March 19, and ever since I was little I have LOVED my birthday. It’s not about getting presents (although my parents and friends usually do VERY well), I just love the whole day. I love telling people it’s my birthday. Let’s be real, I love the attention. When I turned 18 my friends bought me a birthday crown that I wore the whole day. Of course that day just happened to be the first day of our senior class trip to Disney-world. A huge group of my friends and I walked around Epoct and in each country the workers sang happy birthday to me in a different language. It remains one of the best times I had on a birthday.
So the above paragraph shows that I love my birthday. So what is different about this year? This year March came in without a facebook status update from me about how it was my birthday month. I’ve barely thought about it and have only this week made concrete plans for the celebration this year. (Japanese food and a movie so far) Why? It’s cliche but I’m not sure I’m ready to turn 25. Can I have the presents and the good time and stay 24? I’m not upset because I’m getting “old” come on 25 is not old. But is does seem too old to be as adrift as I feel. I would be happy to celebrate turning 25 if I had a full time job in my chosen field, I wasn’t living at home with my parents, and I had a significant other to share it with. Is that too sad and depressing? Too bad it’s my blog =)
I’m trying to feel better about it, but it’s hard. I feel like I’m in the same place I was when I turned 24 and that is not what I thought would be the case this time last year. I’m trying to remember that this time in my life is not forever. When I’m in the next phase of my life I’ll look back on this time and it will seem just like a blip. I guess I just wish the blip was over already.
I just wanted to get the depressing bday post out of the way. The one I write on my actual birthday will be much happier I promise. =)