The one about the girls in my books

I’ve been thinking about how what you read can shape who you are; your worldview. As an adult reading a good book can change my perspective on a lot of things. But this change isn’t exclusive to my adult self. As a child there were girls in the books I read who seemed to jump off the page. So full of life they felt like real friends. Their stories and adventures became part of my story; part of who I am. Below I wrote about five of these heroines, what they meant, to me and why I carry them with me long after I first read them. Continue reading

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The one about being in a valley

I’ve had a rough couple of weeks lately. If I had to describe what made them so rough I really don’t think that I could. I mean sure, there are specific instances and things that happened that were hard and stressful, but honestly not anything too out of the ordinary. It’s more just a feeling of…unsettledness. Unhappiness. My fuse has felt shorter. I’m tired all the time no matter how much sleep I get. Everything seems to annoy me. Well meaning people in my life have tried to help me out of this mindset. They text me Bible verses, encouraging thoughts, funny pictures and memes. And they help…for a moment.

Usually, drawing closer to God helps me in the moments where everything in the world seems to annoy me. But…God’s the one I’m actually the most annoyed at right now. He feels far away. I don’t hear his voice as easily as I did a few months ago. Believing is a struggle. Having true joy is a struggle. Faith is a journey and it’s not a straight path. It can be hard climbing and I feel like I’m in one of those moments. It’s a cliche but truly I am in a valley right now.

But here’s my secret. I’m actually kind of happy in the valley. Continue reading

The one about the lies we tell ourselves

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the lies we tell ourselves. Maybe we didn’t start out telling them to ourselves. Maybe first they were told to us, by people we loved and trusted. People who never intended hurt in their words, but gave it anyway. Or maybe the lies were told to us by people that on the surface we couldn’t have cared less about. But yet the lies still burrowed under our skin, put down roots and started to grow. And before we knew it, they were lies we told ourselves. We repeated them over and over again and soon they become our truth. Each time we heard them we tied ourselves up a little more. Until we couldn’t move from the lies that held us captive.

“What lie have you believed so much it’s become part of who you are?”

The text was written by a friend in a moment of extreme vulnerability and weakness for me. I had been reminded of a certain lie. A lie I had been told enough that I had accepted it as the truth; started telling it to myself instead of waiting for others to tell me.

I have lots of lies I tell myself but this is probably the most pervasive one, the one that popped in my head the moment I read that text… Continue reading